Here's a new TV rule you probably never thought we had to do: don't throw dead.

For NBC, which recently attempted to make remakes of Bionic Woman and Knight Rider ironside review , that meant taking off Ironside's corporate gloves, Raymond Burr's late-'60s hits are fondly (if perhaps vaguely) remembered by older and wholly young audiences. Given the inherent lack of interest, any revival seems pointless. It just doesn't make sense for a clumsy, gangly figure that retains only a rough outline, an injured detective in a wheelchair, while throwing away the wit and wit that the original had.

But when did television stop?
To be fair, Ironside (*2 of 4; NBC, Wednesday, 10 ET/PT) is likely to pull it off: Strange things happen, especially in the weaker slots. Whether he'll be less terrifying in the process is an open question, but nothing in Wednesday's opening game will answer yes.

Blair Underwood stepped in as a much angrier and sexier Ironside, a star New York detective who was shot in the line of duty. Thanks to the big deal with the city, he gets his own building from him and a carefully selected crew, played by Pablo Schreiber, Spencer Grammer and Neal Bledsoe. He also has a boss (Kenneth Choi) who complains in the first few minutes of predictable lines like "There are procedures, damn it, they have to follow."

The pilot tried to do two things at once and tripped both times. First, he wants to tell you how Detective Robert Ironside ended up getting shot in the line of duty by him. But he waits, he will tell you to die why it doesn't matter because he can still kick your ass and he has no choice but to sit on a chair so there is no time to feel bad about it. Then when they try to explain what's going on, he seems confused because he's so simplistic. Then you find out and realize, "Oh, that's kind of lazy and it's not realistic."

But as Ironside will tell you (he'll tell you, he'll tell you), let's get on with it, damn it, or I'll slap you in the face, because I can still do my job three times better than you and me. Nail the ladies whenever you want. I understand?

indeed. OK (That's Ironside's tone throughout the pilot.)
In any case, provided Ironside sued the division and won a huge settlement, part of which also included giving him his own office/building and a carefully selected team. When he said, "Let's go out and do this," they did. Because they are bad too. like your boss. There's also Virgil (Pablo Schreiber), who is his standard detective until future episodes prove he isn't; Holly (Spencer Grammer), his standard hit detective with non-standard ties to thugs, which really helps find the bad guys; and Teddy (Neil Bledsoe), a wealthy ex-investment banker (hooray, not very standard!), which really comes in handy in the pilot. Ironside doesn't really have a boss because he's too bad to follow the rules (or his team), but apparently his boss is Captain Ed Rollins (Kenneth Choi), whose main job is to berate Ironside for not following the rules. rules. Then join. ask her for a drink while you both launch into explanatory dialogue to explain what the episode isn't really showing you. Here's a program to tell you about, if you haven't figured it out yet.